FAQ for understanding an introvert

I received a few questions from friends when I wrote my last entry on introversion. So, it looks like there are some important concepts that people want to know about.

So, do you hate going out?

No, not at all! I probably just don't want to do it as often as you. I need to feel a balance between evenings out and evenings in. For example, unless there's something pretty significant happening, I usually don't want to go out both Friday and Saturday evening – I'll pick one and then spend the other just chilling. Also, if given the choice between a loud party with tons of people or a quiet show at Lunas, I'll go with Lunas hands down. It gives me the thing I love – music and time with friends – in a more mellow environment. 

Are there exceptions? Of course there are. My fiance plays really loud music in a really loud band in really loud bars, and I'd go to the ends of the earth to be there and support him. So don't think of these as hard and fast rules, but guidelines.

So, do you hate people? Are you still shy? 

Nope to both questions. I'm pretty sure that I'm over my shyness, but that said, it's still hard for me to walk up to a group of people and just start a conversation. I don't think that's due to shyness, it's just a bit intimidating is all. Especially if that group of people is laughing and having a great time and circled off from me – I probably won't just cut in and intrude.

But you're always posting about all your adventures on Facebook! What's up with that?

Facebook is it's own animal which I won't get into right now. But come on, how many people do you see post about the mundane and ordinary aspects of their life? Not many. “Doing laundry” and “cleaning up cat vomit” do not make for interesting reads, and first and foremost I consider myself a writer, so I like to put things out there that are, well, interesting for other people to read! And, I do have a lot of fun in life, and I like sharing that with others. It's possible to be an introvert and still have great adventures. I know, because I do all the time.

So, should I stop inviting you to do stuff?

No way man! Invitations are excellent and appreciated. Don't feel like you have to change your behavior, just make an effort to understand the person who you are inviting a little better. It will pay off in spades.

 
Do you want me to fix you? Should I try to pull you out of your shell?  

Ooh, hard question. Loaded question. "Fixing" implies that there's something wrong with introverts, which is absolutely not the case. So no, don't try to fix me.

That said, I think everyone needs balance in their lives, and I'm certainly not a hermit. I spend time with my book club and at the gym with my trainer and at shows checking out good bands and riding my bike with friends and seeing movies with friends and family. I also spend time alone out in the world – I have no problem going to a restaurant by myself and enjoying a good meal while I read a book or just watch the world go by. And, of course, I need down time and time to just chill on the couch with my cat. 

I also think that it's good to be challenged spending time doing things I might not be comfortable with so you can push me a little. Just know that I already challenge myself in many different ways, so I don't necessarily need you to do it a great deal. And getting past internal challenges always feel better than pressure from other people.

I want to know more about you!

 

Here's a great primer for understanding an introvert a little better.