Thoughts from Days 2, 3, and 4 of Whole30

So here's a random sampling of things I've said, thought, or texted over the past few days as I embrace the program that is Whole30:

Seriously, it's like my stomach is trying to box its way out of my body.

I'd kill for a cookie right about now.

I definitely think there's a balance to be had. Somewhere between "donuts are my BFF" and "here's a perfectly balanced plate of fuel."

I'd kill for a donut right about now.

Kale can go to hell.

I'd kill for a brownie right about now.

Wait, coconut milk goes bad after TWO DAYS? What sort of racket are these coconuts running?

One thing I know about myself is that I've always sought comfort in food.It's insane how happy food makes me.

I HOOVERED it because it was so gross. I just wanted to be done with it.

But. But. But. Why does everyone else get to eat the mini pizzas?

Whose brilliant idea was this anyway?

I do NOT want to quit. Don't leave before the miracle happens and all that.