Dream Journal, July 17th

I've been threatening to start a dream journal for years now. Those who know me well know I dream pretty much every night, and I remember most of my dreams the next morning in high detail. I have several dreams each night, some are mundane, others are strange, still others tell me more about my waking life than I want to know sometimes.

I believe that dreams are an interpretation of what is going on in our life and help us to better understand where we are and where we want to be. My subconscious regularly talks to me in my sleep -- sharing things I already know, and other things I need to know but am not ready to face. 

One of my goals is to get better at documenting my dreams. Not for interpretation sake -- that might come later, but right now all I want is a spot to write them down so I can remember them later.

Last night, I had several dreams. I'll change the names of real-life friends, when applicable, to protect their privacy. Here's the snippets that I remember.

Dream #1 -- I'm heading to some sort of costume party, and I'm dressed like a Christmas tree. I'm wearing a huge green suit with a white sheet at the bottom (the kind we placed around the bottom of our tree every year as a child to catch falling pine needles and hold the presents). The sheet is so long that I have to hold it up with my hand -- feels half like a wedding gown train and half like a diaper.

 I get in an elevator with several other people in costume and I'm the last one in, since my costume takes up so much space and no one can squeeze in behind me. I have a vague sense that the party is with my high school class (which might make sense in real life since we have our 20-year reunion coming up). When we get out of the elevator, I am giddy with the party spirit and immediately head out to the dance floor, where I twirl around in my big Christmas tree costume, then realize that only a few people have arrived so far and I look rather conspicuous, so I twirl over to all of the food and drink tables and take a look at what's available. I don't see many people I know or feel comfortable talking to, and once I spy a group of three people (my sister is one of them) I head in their direction so I'm around people I know and don't feel like a huge idiot wearing a Christmas tree costume.

Dream #2 -- I'm at some sort of mall, I think, hanging out with my friend Sabrina, who I haven't spent time with in a really long time. We used to be close but I feel like we've drifted apart since we haven't hung out in a long time. She poses the question to me about why we haven't been hanging out lately, and I tell her the truth -- that I feel a bit awkward now that she has a new group of girl friends. She says yeah, I've been thinking about that too, then asks me what I want to do about it. I feel really uncomfortable and don't say anything, because the truth is I don't know what I want and therefore don't know what to say.

A bit later in the dream, Sabrina and I and a group of other people have completed some big task and are going to be rewarded with two movies and pizza. I've completed this task several times before and so I know the reward will be two kiddo movies and that the pizza is ordered in between the two movies. I'm tired and hungry and not in the mood to watch kids movies or wait for my pizza, so I tell Sabrina that I'm going to take off. I think I also say this so that I can just leave and stop feeling awkward around her. She just kind of shrugs it off.

Dream #3 -- I'm sitting in a hot tub at some big hotel or resort-type place, and there's a group of girls sitting around chatting in the pool next to me. I know one of them from Junior League and recognize the others vaguely from the league, but I'm only friends with one of them. I'm enjoying my time in the hot tub and listening in on their conversation.  I'm almost done in the hot tub and thinking about getting out, when for some reason I decide to poop in the tub before I leave. I feel a bit scandalous doing this but I do it anyway. I figure nobody will get into the tub after me, especially if I pull the top onto it after I get out. So I get out, pull the top on, grab my towel and start walking away.  I keep looking back at the group of girls that I was next to, and it looks like they might hop out of their pool and into the hot tub. Part of me is worried that they'll see the poop and think I did it, the other side of me is indignant that they'd think I pooped in a hot tub.

I get out of there and go back to my room where I am changing out of my suit and into dry clothes. I have a new bra but I can't get it on right because the straps are all crooked in the back, so I get frustrated and just put on my old bra, which is damp from sitting next to my wet towel.

Dream #4 -- I'm on vacation near the beach with my dad, my sister, and Sabrina. It's one of our last days and we are looking for a fun excursion to take. We walk up to a woman behind a counter and ask her what excursion she would recommend, and we decide to go rent bikes and explore a coastal area.  As we are heading to the excursion, I try to show off by holding my bike up with one hand and say "hey Brenda, look at this."  Up ahead of us, Sabrina is also holding her bike with one hand and I'm irritated because she's showing off that she is stronger than me.